An Old Joke, Told in Rhyme!

The teacher had asked her class to compose

A sentence with "fascinate" in it.

Little Johnny Green, right at the back

Had his hand up in a minute!

As no other child had responded so fast

She chose him from those in attendance,

And after she'd taken a long, deep breath,

Said "Johnny, let's hear your sentence!"

He cleared his throat, then, in a loud voice

Our hero began to relate:

"My pregnant mum's got a coat with nine buttons -

But she can only 'fascinate'!"

Shall I Tell You A Story?

Shall I tell you a story about a mouse

That lived in the wall of a very old house?

He dined on scraps that fell from the table

And dodged the cat whenever he was able.

Shall I tell you a story about a cat

Who sat by the fire, on a lovely warm mat?

He'd prowl the house with a haughty strut,

But would stay out of range of the yapping mutt!

Shall I tell you a story about a pup,

Who next to his master's feet would curl up?

A more faithful friend you never will see.

His name "True Blue" fits him to a tee!

Shall I tell you a story about a man

Who muddles along the best that he can,

With his dog, and his cat, and even the mouse?

Contented, they stay in that ramshackle house.

Little Miss Nobody

Amid the hustle and bustle of the school playground,

One young girl sits all alone.

As quiet as a mouse, she watches, but doesn't join in.

No-one pays her any attention.

She tells herself she prefers it that way,

But she is lying - to the world and to herself.

She's so lonely it tears at her insides,

But she steadfastly refuses to let it show.

What a jolly time her tormentors would have

If they knew how much their teasing hurt her.

How mortifying that would be!

So, she sits, quietly, patiently, till the bell rings to go inside.

But the classroom brings no solace, either.

She sits as far to the back as possible.

The teacher asks the class a question.

She knows the answer, but won't raise her hand!

Heaven forbid!

Everyone would look at her - notice her!

Better to try to be invisible, a non-person!

Soon, the school day will be over.

Hopefully she will be able to avoid the recognition

Of those that taunt her, long enough to get her coat

And be on her way without incident.

Maybe she'll be gone before they see her

And decide to play their cruel games with her.

The favourite is the one where one of them "accidentally" touches her,

Then runs around, screaming that he or she has caught a nasty plague -

Or disease, or fleas. or whatever -

And has to touch someone else to pass it on!

That one's always good for a laugh!

For everyone else, anyway!

For her it's like a knife through her heart!

Every time!

And it never gets old!!!!

But none of them know!

None of them will EVER know how caustic their gibes are!

She'll make sure of that..........even if it kills her!!!!!!!!

You Can't Take It With You When You Go!

You can't take it with you when you go, boy,
You can't take it with you when you go.
For what good is all your wealth,
If you haven't got your health,
'Cos you can't take it with you when you go.

You can't take it with you when you go, boy,
You can't take it with you when you go.
Grasping relatives look on,
Hoping that you'll soon be gone,
'Cos you can't take it with you when you go.

You can't take it with you when you go, boy,
You can't take it with you when you go.
When they hear you've taken ill,
They'll be hunting for the will,
'Cos you can't take it with you when you go.

You can't take it with you when you go, boy,
You can't take it with you when you go.
It's a shame to think your bread
Will be squandered once you're dead,
'Cos you can't take it with you when you go.

You can't take it with you when you go, boy,
You can't take it with you when you go.
You don't have to spend the lot!
Sell the rolls and buy a yacht,
'Cos you can't take it with you when you go.

You can't take it with you when you go, boy,
You can't take it with you when you go.
Dress the missus up in Bling!
Diamond necklace, brooch and ring,
'Cos you can't take it with you when you go.

For you can scrimp, and you can save,
But you're a long time in your grave!
So spend it now and have some fun - BEFORE you go!!!