And Now, Some Very Silly Jokes...

Q. How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but she'll change it into a toad.

Q. What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leafed clover?
A. A rash of good luck.

Q. What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A. A stamp.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A. He was a dirty double-crosser.

Q. What's the difference between chopped liver and pea soup?
A. You can chop liver but you can't pea soup.

Q. How do you annoy Lady Gaga?
A. Poker Face.

Q. And how do you make her happy?
A. Just Dance.

Q. What do you call a ghost's mum and dad?
A. Trans-parents.

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out - but I can usually sedate her with four or five doughnuts!

My gym teacher told me to touch my toes. I said, "I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet. Can't I just wave?"

Q. What grows down when it grows up?
A. A goose.

Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. A garbage truck.

Q. What has no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle?
A. A doughnut.

Q. Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?
A. He was on a roll.

Q. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A. Pilgrims.

Q. Why is Cinderella such a poor basketball player?
A. Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

Q. And why was she thrown off the football team?
A. She kept running away from the ball.

Q. Why didn't the nose make the volleyball team?
A. He didn't get picked.

Q. What's the difference between a heavyweight boxer and a man with a cold?
A. One knows his blows and the other blows his nose.

Q. What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A. A baseball team.

Q. What do a dog and a baseball player have in common?
A. They both catch flies, chase strays, and run for home when they see the catcher.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide.

Q. What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
A. The same middle name.

Q. What rock group has four men that can't sing a note?
A. Mount Rushmore.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita borrow a pencil.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Woo.
Woo who?
Don't get so excited - it's only a joke!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Jokes for a Technological Society

The three R's to Windows tech support: Restart, Reboot amd Reinstall

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked!

RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure!

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d!

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

What boots up must come down.

I tried setting my Hotmail password to "penis". It said that my password wasn't long enough.

Crap! Someone knocked over my recycle bin. There are icons all over my desktop!

MACINTOSH stands for Most Applications Crash. If Not, The Operating System Hangs!

I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.

People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten.

How do I set my laser printer to "stun"?

Error: problem exists between keyboard and chair!

If brute force doesn't solve your problems, you're not using enough!

The world is coming to an end - please log off!

It works! Now, if only I could remember what I did!

If a train station is where the train stops, what's a work station?

A life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer!

The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back!