Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
The structure of the wall was incorrect,
So he won ten grand with Claims Direct.
It's Raining! It's Pouring!
Oh, shit! It's Global Warming!
Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
Now he can't keep his heart-rate down
And she's got diabetes!
Mary had a little skirt
With splits right up the sides
And everywhere that Mary went
The boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'Twas split right up the front.....
....But she didn't wear that one often.
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
And now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.
Simple Simon met a pie-man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie-man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the pie-man to Simple Simon,
"Pies, you idiot!"
Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's bum
And turned it's wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too - he's funny that way!
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Dozy Jill forgot her pill
And now they have a son.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed Jill's ass.
Now two of his teeth are missing.
Mary had a little lamb.
It's fleece was white and wispy.
But thanks to Foot and Mouth disease
It's now all black and crispy.
Mary had a little lamb.
You've heard this tale before.
But did you know, she passed her plate,
And had a little more?
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again!
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