Lost? Not me! by Dawn Ferrett

When someone dies we say that they're lost
As if they have veered from the lane
And are wandering, lonely, searching for home
Until they return once again.

The truth of it is that the ones left behind
Are more lost than they that depart.
They believe that in memories, so precious, so dear
This will heal the hole in their heart.

I lost someone close and the pain is still raw
Though I know that she's not lost but found!
I am certain that she is with Jesus right now
And it's I who must choose where I'm bound.

So I'll battle my way through the sorrow and hurt
And remember that God is my guide.
It's He who will help me to find my soul's ease
And I'll stand firm with Him at my side.

Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life
You guide me though I cannot see.
I will weather this storm and when it subsides
I will stand tall and say "Lost? Not me!"

Eulogy for My Mother

Weep Not for Me by an Unknown Author

Weep not for me though I have gone

Into that gentle night

Grieve if you will, but not for long

Upon my soul’s sweet flight

I am at peace, my soul’s at rest

There is no need for tears

For with your love I was so blessed

For all those many years

There is no pain, I suffer not

The fear is now all gone

Put now these things out of your thoughts

In your memory I live on

Remember not my fight for breath

Remember not the strife

Please do not dwell upon my death

But celebrate my life

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

All Is Well by Oliver Wright

Death is nothing at all,

I have only slipped into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,

Speak to me in the easy way which you always used

Put no difference in your tone,

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,

Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,

Just around the corner.

All is well.

If Roses Grow in Heaven by Dolores M. Garcia

If roses grow in heaven,

Lord please pick a bunch for me,

Place them in my Mother’s arms

and tell her they’re from me.

Tell her I love her and miss her,

and when she turns to smile,

place a kiss upon her cheek

and hold her for awhile.

Because remembering her is easy,

I do it every day,

but there’s an ache within my heart

that will never go away.

A Mother's Crown by an Unknown Author

Heaven lit up with a mighty presence,

as the Angels all looked down.

Today the Lord was placing the jewels

Into my mother’s crown.

He held up a golden crown,

as my darling mother looked on.

He said in His gentle voice,

‘I will now explain each one.’

‘The first gem,’ He said, ‘is a Ruby,

and it’s for endurance alone,

for all the nights you waited up

for your children to come home.’

‘For all the nights by their bedside,

you stayed till the fever went down.

For nursing every little wound,

I add this ruby to your crown.’

‘An emerald, I’ll place by the ruby,

for leading your child in the right way.

For teaching them the lessons,

That made them who they are today.’

‘For always being right there,

through all life’s important events.

I give you a sapphire stone,

for the time and love you spent.’

‘For untying the strings that held them,

when they grew up and left home.

I give you this one for courage.’

Then the Lord added a garnet stone.

‘I’ll place a stone of amethyst,’ He said.

‘For all the times you spent on your knees,

when you asked if I’d take care of your children,

and then for having faith in Me.’

‘I have a pearl for every little sacrifice

that you made without them knowing.

For all the times you went without,

to keep them happy, healthy and growing.’

‘And last of all I have a diamond,

the greatest one of all,

for sharing unconditional love

whether they were big or small.’

‘It was your love that helped them grow

Feeling safe and happy and proud

A love so strong and pure

It could shift the darkest cloud.’

After the Lord placed the last jewel in,

He said, ‘Your crown is now complete,

You’ve earned your place in Heaven

With your children at your feet.’

Only One Mother by George Cooper

Hundreds of stars in the pretty sky,

Hundreds of shells on the shore together,

Hundreds of birds that go singing by,

Hundreds of birds in the sunny weather.

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,

Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,

Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,

But only one mother the wide world over.

.

I Am Redeemed (can be sung to the tune of O Praise The Name by Hillsong Worship)

Lord, I was lost and all alone,
Entombed within my sin and shame.
Then through the dark a bright light shone
'Twas then I heard You call my name.

You welcomed me with arms spread wide,
You held me close and called me friend.
You broke the chains that had me bound
And told me I was born again.

Chorus

O praise the name of the Lord, my God

O praise the name of Jesus Christ!

You came to die on that cross for me!

The perfect sacrifice!

And from Your wounds did healing come.
Your blood has washed my sins away.
The darkness ends, I am redeemed!
Behold the dawn of brand new day!

(Repeat Chorus)

Now here I stand with head held high

'Cos on that cross my sins You bore.
O Lamb of God, You gave Your life!
Now I am Yours forevermore!

The House at Crookhorn Corner

On my normal bus route, heading home to Waterlooville

There's a special sight that brightens up my day.

No matter what my day's been like or if I'm feeling ill

It chases all the gloominess away.

And even when it's dark and dank I still can't help but smile

Just knowing that it's there, though I can't see.

As we get to Crookhorn Corner I am grinning all the while

'Cos in my mind the vision shines for me.

What is this bright and cheerful scene that fills me with good will?

What image never ceases to amuse?

In a house at Crookhorn Corner, on a bedroom window sill

Two dancing figures - Jake and Elwood Blues!

So if by chance you find yourself on Crookhorn Lane some day

Past Scratchface Lane, look up and to the right,

And let this happy, hopeful scene chase all the clouds away.

It'll bring you joy and make your heart feel light. 

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES

The missus bought a Paperback,
Down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator!!"

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
And stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!

When I read this I laughed so hard the tears were rolling down my legs! 

Pam Ayres has always been my idol. I wish I had half her talent. 

More power to your elbow Pam! Keep 'em comin'!

Dawn xxxx

My Quirky Valentine

Your teeth are like stars!

I'm not being polite.

When I say they're like stars

I mean they come out at night!

And your lips aren't like petals

It's sad to relate.

They more closely resemble

Bike pedals, old mate!

When I look at your face,

Time stands still as a rock,

Because, dear, your face

Would stop any clock!

You have eyes like the sea -

They're making me barf!

And as for your hair - 

Are you having a laugh?

Still nobody's perfect

And if you'll be mine

I'll be over the moon

As your Valentine!

May God Bless & Keep You

Another year is over,
A new one just begun.
My prayer is that this year will bring
Good things to everyone.

May each day bring you gladness
And sorrows be but few.
Let hearts and minds be full of peace
Today and all year through.

God bless all those who love you
And those whom you love, too,
His grace and mercy evident
In all you say and do.

So, here's to new beginnings!
Know this, deep in your heart.
With God's help we can overcome,
And make a brave new start!

No need to fear the future,
For God's hands hold us fast.
As long as we still cleave to Him
We're conquerors at last!

What wonders will He show us?
What gifts will He provide?
What hope, what joys, what subsidy?
Our every need supplied!

Lord, thank you for our blessings.
For friends and family, too.
I give all that I have to give -
Heart, soul and mind - to You!

Amen